Dear Twins: Recently I ran into a man that I dated when I was in college and that’s been many moons ago. He and I had a great relationship and we were pretty tight as the saying goes back in the day. I really had fun with him on this reunion date and I really want to see him again but he is very vague about giving up his contact information, living arrangements and very tight-lipped about his marital status. I don’t quite know how to take it so I’m stuck always waiting on him to contact me. He calls every few days and we make plans and go out together but he still won’t let me have any way of contacting him. When I asked him about it he says he’s very busy and only has a little time for a social life and that he was stalked in the past by some crazy woman. He says he wants to get to know me better before I have complete access to him. This has gone on now for about five month but now that the holidays are coming up I’d like to be able to make definite plans with him so that I can take his to some of the business and social functions that I will be attending over the next two months. How do I get him to open up to me and let me into his world?

Answer: (Brinda) Well dear I have one word for you (MARRIED)!! Don’t you think this guy a little bit off the mark? We women like to put our heads in the sand when we meet a guy we really like and then we start to make all sorts of excuses for weird behavior. When things just don’t add up we usually know the answer but don’t want to accept what our instincts are telling us. The holidays are always our truth test. If you can’t make plans in advance and or he can’t be with you on the actual holiday then you know he has other obligations and that means he has to spend time with his family, wife and or significant other so that means you my dear you are left out in the cold by yourself. If I were you I’d make other plans now. Didn’t you say you went to college? If so what was your major….or did they just brand STUPID on your forehead and send you out into the world.

Answer: (Linda) If you can’t contact him then go ahead and make other plans ASAP. This is the oldest game in town. You’ve played before and so have I. Get a grip. Make up your mind…do I want to be involved with a married man or not… it’s just that simple. We all have to pay to play and that thing about being stalked is for the birds. If he was so afraid of being stalked he would be playing the game. The being stalked line sounds like he may be writing a novel of fiction and you’re just a test character in his book.